in honor of throwback thursday, here is a little something i posted five years ago today back in my tumblr days. i’ve been scrolling thru some old blog posts for a project i’m working on and
judging revisiting the person i was then. i was living in New York, most likely working somewhere in the Conde Nast building, pretending to complete someone’s travel itinerary while gchatting with friends and flipping thru a “free” copy of AD. oh, what a glamorous life i’ve led.
this was a part of a conversation i was having with a friend. tumblr has this great feature that lets you format posts so they look like conversations (yes, that was outright shade i just threw at you, WordPress. still love you though, please don’t shut down my site). i’ll do my best to recreate the post below (a bit more shade):
March 26, 2010
the definition of “heauz”
disclaimer: *the preceding portion of the convo has been edited due to easily-identifiable content, do the best that you can.*
LFD: i dont understand these heauz
please submit that to webster
definition: (n.) a socially acceptable and more lady-like way to express feelings of whore-vibes.
congratulations…you just made my day!
ME: ah shux *doing texas bow*
the end. i love having funny, intelligent friends. they make me funny. and i love being funny.
if i were able to travel back in time, i’d add a pronunciation cue to that definition. i’d also tell this Tiffany to hold on to her apartment and rent it after she moves to LA, but i digress. since this friend, whose identity will remain a secret, is also from the south, there was a commonality there and no need for diction clarification. for all you non-southerners, an addendum:
noun | \ˈhōz\ | a socially acceptable and more lady-like way to express feelings of whore-vibes.
good word, right? feel free to use it. try incorporating in a sentence today, maybe over lunch with friends. and afterwards, when they’re touting you as a connoisseur of words, THAT’S when you hit them with the texas bow! and if they don’t ditch you, sticking you with the check and never returning your call, you know the friendship is pure and good.
do you make up words? i always have. like Tom Haverford only not nearly as funny. maybe that’s why i love this friend as much as i do. she’s not above a made up word. and neither should your friends be. this PSA is brought to you by NBC. (<–not really.)
(photo snagged from here. also, not saying these ladies were “heauz.” i didn’t know them. i just like the vintage-y photo of a New York moment and the irony of the article’s context.)