i see your fat-shame and raise you an asshole-shame.

when i said “be back on Friday!” in my last post, what i meant to say was “once my parents leave and we spend a few days catching up to our lives and i take a dozen naps and read blogs about how many diapers to buy, i’ll be back!” i planned to write about something entirely different until my mom texted me with this lovely nugget of Fox News-ness. go ahead, watch. i’ll wait…

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yep, that definitely happened. i don’t think this idiot deserves too much more time or attention so i’ll just get right to the point. shut up, you delusional, entitled asshole. who, WHO are you to fat-shame (God, i hate that term) anyone? let alone OUR FIRST LADY! seems like the buttons on your crispy white shirt could use a little breathing room themselves. let’s just ignore the fact that Michelle Obama is in great shape, k… since when is it considered acceptable, appropriate behavior for a medical professional to make derogatory comments about a woman’s weight? on live television news? or ever? he should be ashamed of himself. i know violence is never the answer, but wouldn’t it be amazing, poetic even, if Michelle Obama could take one of those gorgeously toned arms of hers and elbow him in his face? on national television. if only i were emperor of the world and could make the rules.


as infuriating as that ass and his gratuitous insults were, my major beef is with the women who sat idly by and let him get away with that. the hell?! where did their voices go? not only was he obscenely disrespectful, he did it in the presence of other women. as if to assert his right to do so. never in a million years should he have been able to get away with that. that, to me, is the real tragedy in that moment. women – we MUST do a better job of having each other’s backs. our own backs! it may have seemed like his contempt was solely directed at Michelle Obama, but it was a telling example of his overall value of women. in the south we refer to what those women did as “himmin’ and hawin'”, when what they should have done was put him in his place. at the very (VERY) least, they could have refused to allow him to continue by shutting him down or moving on sooner. maybe even getting back on topic? do better, ladies.

and ya know what? do better, mainstream media. his catty comments had absolutely nothing to do with the issue of school lunches. whatever happened to reporting real news for the purpose of informing the American people? whatever happened to the media’s sense of responsibility? all this sensationalized controversy-seeking – why don’t we just save a few bucks, turn the cameras off, and just call Twitter the news? (how is it possible that a TV show about the news, was better at providing the news than…the news?)


one last note, while i still have only one foot on the soap box: every time someone is allowed to spew this body-shaming bullshit, there is a damaging ripple effect. women and girls everywhere suffer. choosing to reduce the first lady to demeaning comments about her weight, instead of respectfully opposing her views, sends a very clear and dangerous message about where society places the value of women. a message, i for one, am growing more and more tired of receiving. i think if we ever want to change this, revoking the control of those “faraway gatekeepers of beauty and ending this epidemic of poor body image, it’s going to take some serious accountability on everyone’s part. women, men, and especially the media.

what do you think of this? what would you have done had you been on that panel? do you support Dr. Ablow’s right to free speech or whatever? do share in the comments below!


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2 comments on i see your fat-shame and raise you an asshole-shame.

  1. Koolgrits
    August 27, 2014 at 1:12 pm (3 years ago)

    ‘Douches triumph when good women who should know better don’t speak up when a douche disrespects their gender from their own couch.’

  2. Sharon
    August 22, 2014 at 3:08 pm (3 years ago)

    Good article Tiffany. It is disturbing to me that the first family is not given the level of respect they deserve. As a woman, I agree with you that the other women present should have spoken up. I strive to be like Iyanla Vanzant who said this (paraphrased) on her show to a woman who was disrespecting another woman, “Not on my watch will you disrespect another woman! If you will do it to her-you will do it to me!” It starts with each of us finding our voice to stop these kind of actions, one at a time.


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