dear janet jackson,

you look amazing.

i wish i could send you a “congrats on your weight-loss” or “i’m sure you’re happy to have the fat police off your back” or “i’ve adored you always but i totally get it” gift, but i only know how to show love with warm, fat-filled, sugary treats or inappropriate touching. so, i’m using my words:

congratulations and i wish you all the best. i hope you’re the happiest you’ve ever been. you look it.

your unwavering ‘stan’ since birth yours truly,


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